This quote, from Angel , came to mind:
GUNNThe meds have been sporadic in their effect recently. The worst time is Wednesday morning, when I do an early shift to make it to therapy on time. Lately I've been feeling like I'm barely holding on with the edges of my fingernails; one time, while getting a glass of water from the fridge console, I banged my head against the freezer door in an attempt to distract from the pain.
Do you know what the worst part of that place was? Wasn't the basement. At least there, you knew where you stood. Demon was gonna cut your heart out and show it to you. Nah. It was the fake life they gave you upstairs. The wife, kids, all the icing on the family cake. But somewhere underneath it, there was the nagging certainty that it was all lies, that all the smiles and the birthday candles and the homework were just there to hide the horror. (turns to face Angel)Is that all we're doing here—just hiding the horror?
It goes away...the pain. When the meds kick in I can feel the pain smoothing over. But the wait for the drugs to take effect is getting longer and harder. And that quote from Gunn haunts me. The good that I feel when the drugs finally take effect, is that just hiding the horror? Is the horror real or the icing?
