Whither My Life?

Back
by Jane Kenyon

We try a new drug, a new combination
of drugs, and suddenly
I fall into my life again

like a vole picked up by a storm
then dropped three valleys
and two mountains away from home.

I can find my way back. I know
I will recognize the store
where I used to buy milk and gas.

I find that sometimes others words illustrate an unarticulated thought of mine better than any words I could've come up with on my own. The above is an example.

The only element the author fails to mention is the slightly unnerving feeling that lingers once you've found your way back. Where have I been? Through what countries have I traveled? And how much damage have I done...to others, myself...along the way? Worse: how long will it take to repair?

Now that I have the mental foundation that 450mg of Effexor provides, I look back on the volatile days, weeks, months of 300mg and cringe a bit at the things I said and did.