Sometimes...actually a lot of the time...I wonder how people around me, co-workers, aquaintences, etc., make it through a full day without collapsing in exhaustion after walking through the door after work. And by collapsing in exhaustion, read: hitting the bed at 7pm.
I have to remind myself that, in all likelyhood, they are not throwing back large amounts of psychopharmaceuticals along with large amounts of what boils down to legalized speed and an extra large dose of synthetic thyroid hormone. I really do forget that I'm taking this stuff in order to keep my brain functioning normally and as a result I beat myself up over the side effects.
The other disturbing realization...one that I've mentioned before...is how dependent my mental equilibrium is upon this pharmaceutical cocktail. This luteal week was worse than the ones before and I have to believe it had something to do with the four day interruption of synthroid and the brief switchover to multiples of 75mg Effexor tablets while I was fighting with the insurance company to approve the doseage I need. It makes me more than uneasy to know that, bottom line, my mental health can be upended by the arbitrary decisions of a corporation. Or anyone else for that matter.
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