Quick, random thoughts and updates in no particular order since the starbucks I am in is playing round after round of slit-your-wrists music and, although figuring out how to manipulate this PDA program to transmit Blogger formatted posts is helping my worn out brain, expending any additional mental energy...say in developing a narrative flow for this mess in my head...will push me over the edge.
- Hospitalization is becoming an inevitability rather than a possibility. Having two completely different reactions to the exact same type and dose of medicine is a signal, to me at least, that something is desperately, desperately wrong. To me it signals the first falling stones of a complete structural collapse, and I'd rather get the architectural team in now while the building is still standing
- On a tangential, yet similar note, the utter unpredictability of my moods is what is driving me insane. That, and the maddening Concerta side effect of anxiety; it is a torturous combination that is causing quick, violent mood swings and accompanying fast-moving thoughts.
- Also tangentially...if genetics really does play a factor in depression....I am completely screwed. Out of sheer desperation I emailed my mom and sister to ask if and when they'd had experiences with the beast. Both responded in the affirmative, one is still wrestling with it. Not doing to good either, if recent interactions are any indication.
- Okay, what the hell is with Starbucks and wrist-slitting music? In the past hour or whatever I've been here, they've played a steady stream of Kate Bush, Sarah MacLaughlin and The Indigo "Blood and Fire and Prince of Darkness" Girls. I'm all for these singer-songwriters and I distinctly remember TIG's "Gallileo" as being funny in a quirky sort of way, but come on!! An overcast Sunday morning, on the eve of a Monday workday no less, is no time for dirges. Maybe it's just this particular location.
Thus endeth the randomness.
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