On Anger

I'm a practising Christian. Which means that I do my level best to walk my talk...i.e. I don't commit adultery, murder anyone or steal from stores or little old ladies. It also means that I do my level best to behave towards others the way I read about Jesus behaving...having compassion on those who want to kick my ass, helping out the homeless people on the street with a few dollars without asking if they're going to buy alcohol or drugs, doing random acts of niceness for complete strangers...you get the idea. Christianity, or actually God, has gotten a bad rap lately what with all of the disasters and complete idiots fronting as being one of the true believers...but i've seen enough to keep at it for a while longer.

One of the reasons is this: anger is not a sin. It says it right there in the Bible...in fact I think that Jesus himself does the saying. This is a gross, probably completely inaccurate paraphrase and I don't even have a book, chapter and verse, but the quote goes something like this:

In your anger, do not sin

It doesn't say NOT to get angry....just don't go mowing down a busy sidewalk with an AK-47 while in your blinding rage. As I am a person who, at this phase in my life, finds myself frequently infuriated...probably having something to do with the fact that I recently started driving, this is a relief.

However, I'm finding it hard to figure out what to do with that anger that wouldn't constitute "sin". When my temples are pounding and my blood is boiling over in the blood vessels just underneath my skin, and the red tinged haze blooms in front of my eyes, my first instinct is to throw the nearest sharp object at the catalyst of my rage. All that stuff...blood boiling, red haze, pounding temples...is energy and it has to go somewhere. And as I mentioned before somewhere in this site, depression is sometimes referred to as anger turned inwards, so the last thing I want to do is sit with this volatile substance until it seeps into my innards stews them into a dark, dank soup.

I'm not including any solutions here because honestly, I ain't got them. Venting to friends would be the first thing that comes to mind, but what if you don't have any. Depression...especially the major and lasting kind...is not the type of thing to win friends and influence people unless you're paying them for their hour of time. Screaming or pounding a pillow is another, but doing either of these in the workplace is just not a way to maintain gainful employment. Plus...when's the last time you saw a pillow in your workplace? Thought so.

If I come up with anything, believe you me I'll share it here....but right now I got zilcho. Desperately looking, but zilcho.