Some Thoughts, In No Particular Order

• This cold is brutal and relentless. Logically, I know that it is not
  personal, but because of my state of mind and the constant demands of
  my job it feels as though it is. I do not know if I can take another
  winter here.

• If only I could just stop for a while...have nothing to do but lie in
  bed with the dog, or read at Starbucks or think or sleep for as long
  as I needed to...and not have to worry about the apartment getting
  clean or earning an income from work. And if it could be for an
  indefinite amount of time; so that I wasn't dreading the end of the
  respite, or feeling the impending drudgery of taking everything back
  up again, putting it on my shoulders and trudging onwards.

• What are we doing to this poor dog? He's apparently sensitive by
  nature and the time in the pound definitely didn't help. Now he's in
  a household with a volatile depressive whose moods are definitely not
  stable and privy to whatever marital discord blows in. I fear that he
  would have been better off with a different couple or family, that
  secretly he wishes he were. I wish there were a way I could know for
  sure that he did or didn't think that way.

• I don't know how I am going to make it through this day. I'm trying
  to pull myself together out of nothing and it is not working. Maybe
  in an hour I will be completely different and this will seem just a
  bunch of maudlin navel gazings but right now I feel at the end of my
  rope; I'm scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel and I am
  coming up with zilcho.

• Energetic music is helping. Snoop Dogg, Wu-Tang Clan, Dr. Dre,
  Eminem...the off rhythms are giving my brain something to cognate
  about. So it is helping. Not much, but some.